Lucien Lachance Teaches Kindergarden
by axmly
Summary: The Count of Cheydinhal has had it with all the blackmail and treats. So unless the Dark Brotherhood does one good deed a month, the Sancuary will be attacked. So they accept, and have Lucien do the first task. Which is.... Teaching Kindergarden. Review!


Lucien Lachance teachs kindergarden

"I have to what?!" Lucien Lachance screamed as Ocheeva told Lucien of his next contract. "Teach kindergarden." Ocheeva told him with her head low. You see, The Count of Cheydinhal has for years been bribed and blackmailed by the Dark Brotherhood so he would keep his mouth shut about the sancuary. But it seems the Count is no longer taking it, for if the Dark Brotherhood trys to harm or do anything offensive to the Count, the Sancuary will be invaded with a full on army. so to keep the Count from talking, they must do a good deed every month for a contract. And this month it was teaching kindergarden. "No way, I am dealing with babys, that don't even know how to wipe their own ass yet." Lucien said. "I'm sorry, but the entire sancuary voted you to be the one to do the contract this month." Ocheeva said quietly. "Argg!" Lucien growled as he stomped off into the livingquarters. "Whats your major malfunction?" M'raaj-Dar asked Lucien. "Ocheeva told me about my new contract!" Lucien yelled and throw his arms in the air. "Oh, yeah, that." M'raaj-Dar said, suddenly very interested with a bottle of ale. "Why me?" Lucien asked. "I'm no good with little four year olds! I could be doing something useful!" "Um...yes, you could." M'raaj-dar replied. "Ahh!" Lucien screamed tossing his arms in the air again.

"Are you going to complain about it until tomorrow when you have to do it?" Vicente Valtieri asked. "Cause thats going to get annoying." This time, Lucien was pacing the floors in Vicente's privatequarters. "Me, of all people, have to teach kindergarden! What am I going to do? If I get mad at one, can I smack them?" Lucien asked. "Teach them their ABCs and 123s. And It seems to be forbiden for the teacher to harm the children in anyway." Vicente told him. "Great. Just great." Soon, Lucien was stammering, and walking in circles. "Oh, Lucien." Vicente said when he saw Lucien going hystarical. "This will calm you." Vicente's fangs popped out of his gums, and then he went over to Lucien, and sank his fangs into his neck. Lucien was to out of it to notice. Then, Lucien stopped stammering, he closed his eyes, fell asleep. Vicente pulled his fangs out. "Sometimes he's just as bad as Antoinetta." Vicente said as he looked at Lucien sleep on the floor.

The next day.......

Lucien woke up to Ocheeva screaming in his ear to wake up. "Kindergarden....babys....teaching..." Lucien grumbled as he tossed on his BlackHand robe. Then, when Ocheeva looked away, he put a sharp, silver dagger into his pocket. That seemed to make Lucien happier. "Well, on my to the Chapel to teach kindergarden!" Lucien excliamed before he made his way up the stairs. "Hold it!" Ocheeva shouted. "Pull out your pockets, Lucien." Lucien's smile turned into a murderous stare as he reached in his pocket and pulled out the dagger. "You asshole." Ocheeva said, taking the dagger away from him forcefully. Lucien grumbled, then stomped out of the sancuary.

He walked over to the chapel, still grimacing. He walked inside. All the children were sitting quietly in the pews. "Ugly little things." Lucien thought as he walked down the asle to the front of the room. All of the childrens eyes were glued to him. "Alright, I am Lucien, and I am your teacher for today." He said as soon as he reacher the front. "Hello, Lucien." The children said in unison. "Now, what am I supposed to be teaching you litttle bitchs? History of Cheydinhal? Quantum Physics?" A little girl about five raised her hand. "We were going to learn the alphabet, ."Ah, I find your etiquette refreshing, little girl." Lucien said. "Okay, so the alphabet. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Thats the alphabet!" "But sir," A fat child named Ronaldo asked. "You have to help us learn it." "Do I look like I give a damn?" "Well, sir, you are supposed to give a damn in school." Ronaldo said. Lucien burst out laughing. "Oooo, Ronaldo said a bad word!" A boy named Chucky commented. Ronaldo eyes got bigger, then tears began to swell, and then he burst out crying. Lucien looked up. "Oh, shut up!" He said. That made him cry even more. "This is worse then being stuck with savage orc!" Lucien screamed inside his head. Then A girl named Mary went up to Ronaldo and punched him. Ronaldo fell to the floor, Mary made threats, Chucky was dancing around the floor. Lucien walked over to Mary and told her to say sorry. Then Mary threw a punch at Lucien and it went black.

It was past midnight. Lucien woke up in his room at Fort Farragut. Ocheeva stood next to him. "Damn children." Lucien moaned. "Can't say that I blame you." Ocheeva told Lucien. "That Mary was a jackass." "You should have let me bring the dagger." Lucien said with a smerk. "I guess I should have," Ocheeva agreed. "But at least I'm free of those damn children!" Lucien exclamed. "Well, not exactly." Ocheeva mumbled with her head down. Lucien stood up. "What do you mean?" "Well, we have you scheduled to teach pre-k next month." Lucien slowly lowered himself back on the bed. Then after ten minutes of letting all that soak in, he said, "Shit." and cryed himself to sleep.


End file.
